Puerto Rican Pleasures

Internet access is a privilege. Losing a hair tie can be devastating. Some Starbucks baristas can spell my name. Sunscreen is a godsend. These are a few of the things I learned last week while I was in Puerto Rico. Why did I leave New York with such short notice? Well, my neighbor (and former babysitter) has a timeshare there and invited my family to share the space. Of course, I was the only one without anything going on at the moment, so I booked the flight and was ready for fun in the sun. How could I possibly turn that down during this horrible winter weather?

The first bump I hit was not in the air, but on the ground when I attempted to text Renee indicating my arrival. No service. Great. I hopped in a taxi and rode to the hotel. After a short wait in the lobby, I realized I had some wi-fi access and told Renee where I was. In less than an hour, my toes were in the sand and a permanent smile was plastered on my face. Life was perfect. That night we ate with Renee’s aunts and mom who were in Puerto Rico for one more night. They had me laughing with their stories about Renee’s dirty feet, Señor Frogs shenanigans, and iguana drink pictures. We ended the night at the Brother Jimmy’s bar sharing swamp water before I passed out on my cot from exhaustion.

The rest of the days were just as relaxing. It was just Renee and I at this point. We would wake up, make breakfast, walk over to the local Starbucks, apply sunscreen on each other’s backs, drink Gasolina (basically adult juice boxes), and spend the sunshine hours laying on our lounge chairs. My favorite part was our daily walk along the beach. One time we found some coconuts and I slipped on rocks, another time we befriended an American with a cute little rescue dog, and a third time we were concerned about what turned out to be a tsunami warning test procedure. There’s so much going on if you notice it.

 

Dinners were always phenomenal and fattening. I couldn’t help but clear my plate every damn time. My favorite dish was a bacon-wrapped, mofongo-stuffed chicken breast that I ordered in Old San Juan. It was seriously delicious and I had a side of tostones to polish off the loveliness. Another standout dinner moment was when one of our waitresses thought we were local Puerto Ricans. Why thank you for complimenting our tans! 🙂 She ended up giving Renee her number and inviting us to go to the beach with her and her friend. We never capitalized on the offer, but it’s always nice to make acquaintances.

One day we ventured into Old San Juan after spending a few hours on the beach. We visited a fort, exchanged numbers with someone who needed a plumber in Queens, and purchased jewelry. I absolutely love the vibrancy of Old San Juan. There are people talking on the streets. There is music leaking from local bars. The buildings are speckled with color. The streets are laid with blue stones. The city really is breathtaking. I could aimlessly wander those streets for hours.

 

Another day that was different was Friday. We took a 45-minute shuttle ride to a catamaran called Barefoot. A crew of four and a boatload of people accompanied us on this shoeless journey. There were endless drinks, snorkeling equipment, and the motion of the ocean to keep us busy all day. My first time snorkeling was a success! It was nice being able to breath underwater especially after all my breathless years on the swim team. The people on the boat also made the experience worthwhile. Renee had a thing for Luis, one of the crew members. He remembered her from earlier in the week but she quickly lost interest when she found out he had a kid. Whoa buddy, she ain’t trying to start a family. There was a couple we met who probably is thinking on that wavelength though. They asked Renee and I if we were lesbians and that was a beautiful beginning to our friendship. They were from Philadelphia and New Jersey and had only been dating for six months but have traveled the world together. We ended up seeing them multiple times over the weekend. The man startled me in Starbucks one afternoon with a shoulder tap and they rescued us from ex-cops at Brother Jimmy’s on our last night. What a pair!

I guess I should explain the ex-cop thing. On our last night, we decided to eat and drink at Brother Jimmy’s. It was within walking distance, they serve good BBQ, and I still had to ride the mechanical bull. I’m not sure how this happened, but Renee and I downed a lot of drinks (free of charge may I add because the bartender remembered Renee) and were drunk. These two ex-cops started talking to us and one really wanted Renee’s d. Luckily, our favorite couple came over and started talking to us so we could escape those men. Like honestly, you’re probably twice my age. Creepy. It’s so nice that I remind you of your daughter. Really, so nice. I was especially aware of my age this vacation. I didn’t recognize most of the ’90s music that Renee loved. The youngest person I saw was probably 25. I didn’t hate it though. I think I’m mature for my age. We made our way downstairs and I tried to win over a coast guard for Renee, but my attempt was futile.

 

On Sunday, our vacation was coming to a close. After tons of lines (boarding pass, agriculture, baggage check, security, boarding) and waiting, we eventually made it onto our flight. I finished my second book of the week while in the air and watched SNL for the rest of the trip. Elisa and Felicia were waiting for us by the curb when we arrived. They were the best chauffeurs.

Yesterday was a big day. I got my nails done with Ariel. We talked for hours in her car and at Starbucks about everything. Little things are important, but that’s not what made it a big day. I finally decided on a job. I’ve chosen to start working at a spinal solutions company in Pennsylvania in two weeks! The outpouring of love and encouragement was a little bit overwhelming. Hearing my parents’ excitement, receiving kind words via text, and the satisfaction of waiting for a job I really wanted have made this experience so great already and it hasn’t even began. I really owe everything to my mom and my dad for paying for my education. It has given me the freedom to go anywhere and do anything. It has given me the ability to make connections throughout the world and within my mind. Ben Franklin had it right when he said an investment in knowledge pays the best interest. I’m ready to make his words a reality.

A new chapter begins soon.

We’ll Never Be Royals

Hey people. I’m back from sailing the seven seas (alright only two of them) aboard the Royal Princess with my mom, sisters, cousin, and upwards of 5,000 other people I didn’t know existed a week ago. In addition to watching two-a-day movies, hearing Bob Marley music, nightly lotion rubdowns, and the middle-aged woman obsessed with Felicia, our time was spent basking in the Caribbean sunshine, visiting new places, and meeting new people. I think the best part of the trip was not having cell phone service or wi-fi. My sisters weren’t constantly checking their phones at dinner and we were forced to interact. Crazy concept, right?!

Our first (and really only) responsibility on the ship was finding our muster station for a safety meeting. Elisa had some fun in the life vest before falling asleep on my shoulder while trying to listen. After what I’m sure would have been an informative meeting if we had paid attention, we watched the sun set beautifully over Ft. Lauderdale as we sailed away. The rest of the night was spent on the pool deck watching people dance. There were some characters but two really stood out. A regal African woman shaking her groove thing using a walking stick as a dance prop and another woman ready for an expedition equipped with a jungle hat and cargo shorts. I was exhausted just watching them, so we went inside to shower and ended up sleeping the entire night. The rest was much needed.

On Monday, we rose early and energized for our stop at Princess Cays, Bahamas. My mom and I adventured along the coast seeing what the island had to offer while my sisters and cousin tanned and watched boys play volleyball. I guess we were walking for too long because when we got back lunch was no longer being served. Eventually it was time to get back on the boat. The rest of my girls went to get coffee and food, and I’m like bye bitches I’m gonna work out instead. I found the track on the top deck of the ship and attempted to run while the wind whipped me around. Resistance training at its finest. Later on, we went to our first dinner where we learned that we were the staff’s favorite diners. They called my cousin bad bitch and would find us no matter where we were seated. We went to the Unexpected Boys show that night where they performed songs by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. We were jealous of the spotlight on them, so we went to karaoke afterwards and were urged to sing, which was really screeching, with a live band. That was also the first night we went to Club 6, the lukewarm spot where people our age would congregate every night. We made some friends and naturally nicknamed them all. There was Boston, Adam Levine, the Brown Brotherhood, John Jay, and Juan Pablo the soccer player to name a few. At the end of the night, my sisters, two brothers we met, and I ended up searching for my cousin. We couldn’t find her but she eventually made her way to our cabin. Thank god.

   

We slept in the next morning since the day was to be spent at sea. Isabella kept us entertained by dancing with anyone who would walk by, most notably a 74-year-old man. The brothers and Boston ended up sitting with us and talking to my sisters. I was absorbed in reading The Aviator’s Wife. I walked with my mom for a little on the ship track, but eventually retired to get ready for dinner. The show that night was like our high school’s Diversity Day on crack. There were musical performances imitating global styles. I found it somewhat hysterical and offensive at times. The show ended late so we went to bed right away. In the middle of the night, we were awoken by Adam Levine banging at our door. Elisa was about to fuck him up right before he stopped. Good for him because I’m scared what she might have done if he kept annoying us.

On Wednesday we docked in St. Thomas. It smelt like weed and had wild chickens but was overwhelmingly beautiful. My cousin’s reaction was, “I feel like there are no skunks here. Just butterflies.” Okay to whatever that means. We took a tour and ended up in town to shop. A highly decorated man on the street led us into his local shop where he tried to sell us his interesting jewelry. We weren’t having it. We liked the duty free shopping. There were huge bottles and boxes to suit any vice. Walking in the sun took its toll on us and we found shelter at a cute street side bar. We ate a little snack and my mom whipped out the iced tea vodka she purchased earlier. That stuff was potent. We walked our way back to the ship while calling to the passerbys on the road. Isabella and I worked out at the gym for the first and only time all vacation. The space was nice because it had a huge window facing the ocean. At dinner that night, our waiter performed a math trick where everyone ends up with 5 but somehow Isabella got 3. Math is not her best subject. We kept the night magical by attending a show performed by David Cats. He was really good and I’m still trying to figure out how he did some tricks. When we arrived back at our room, we found a note at our door saying to go to Club 6. Adam must have left it. He was persistent. My sisters, cousin, and I went to the buffet area to put mixers in the vodka my mom bought. That’s where we creeped out a boy from Minnesota. He was the first of many new people we met that night while sitting outside until the early hours of the morning. Card tricks were performed and awkward personal questions were asked. The older of the two Minnesotan brothers made fun of the one we originally met because he was talking about his wild party floor. Their interactions reminded me of my interactions with my sisters. The two pairs of brothers and Boston were my favorites because they weren’t trying to hook up with people they had met that week. Respectable.

       

Thursday was another port day. This time, we stopped at St. Maarten. As soon as we arrived, the rain attacked our skin. We found  shelter under tarps and in stores as intermittent showers continued throughout the day. We took a taxi to Marigot on the French side of the island. We shopped at the booths and climbed up to a fort. I huffed and puffed the entire way up, but when I looked out at the ocean my breath was taken away for a different reason. The view from the top was seriously stunning. We were parched after descending the mountain, and stopped in a little cafe for the best mango smoothies. We headed back to the Dutch side of the island for more shopping via water taxi. Isabella tried to get some coconuts off a tree. She failed. Another failure was our attempt at finding tropical looking dresses. I didn’t care that much though. I actually felt kind of obnoxious doing all this shopping and being on vacation at times. The people who live on the island seemed so poor and like such hard workers. I’m not saying that it’s not nice to be on vacation and that my mom didn’t work hard to be able to do this for us, but it was hard to ignore the poverty that did exist. Just because these place are naturally beautiful doesn’t mean it’s la la land. I was tired and irritated when we were back on the ship and Elisa wouldn’t let me shower first. That was the last straw for me and I yelled at her for such a stupid thing. To blow off steam, I went for a swim by myself while she was showering. It was nice to finally be alone. Spending 24/7 with someone can be annoying. Dinner was horrible this night because everyone was angry and upset. Elisa didn’t even come out with us. That didn’t stop Isabella, Felicia, my mom, and me from going to an event on the deck. We got drinks and everything was better. Isabella, the two Minnesotans, and I even attempted to play a prank on Elisa. Kevin entered our room with a fist full of shaving cream, but Elisa woke up and wasn’t phased by his presence. The biggest failure of the day.

  

Friday and Saturday were spent at sea. I could sleep in, spend the day lounging outside, and forge ahead with my book. On Friday, I spoke to an older woman in the pool. Her and her daughter were very well travelled and friendly. Dinner was much more jovial on Friday night. We went out afterwards. John Jay was extra aggressive. He wouldn’t leave anyone alone. I think Kevin was sick of sitting there so he went to bed. What a silly mistake for him and great opportunity for the rest of us. Elisa, Kirby, and I decided to scare Kevin and tell him the ship was sinking. He wasn’t frightened by Kirby’s prodding. We should have thrown him a life vest to make it more believable. We left the room saying he was on his own. Kevin eventually came to the elevators donning only his boxers. He went back to his room and Elisa called pretending to be Maria from the front desk telling him that Titanic II was happening and he should report to his mustard station. I got a good laugh out of that event. Saturday was spent doing pretty much the same thing. Instead of talking to an old lady, I watched two little boys get flung into the pool and play with balloons. They were very entertaining. The best part of the day was when Kirby persuaded Elisa to come near the pool to aid her in getting Kevin back for popping a water balloon on her, only to be pulled into the pool herself. She threatened to murder him while I laughed. That night we sat in Club 6 after going to a comedy show. I listened to Boston talk about his interesting life. I still am not sure if he was bullshitting everything or telling the truth. If it was the truth, his adventures so far are pretty impressive. We left the lounge and went to the buffet. I got some Fruit Loops before we retreated to our rooms. I feel a little bad that I didn’t say goodbye to anyone, but we had an early morning ahead.

Sunday morning we arrived in Ft. Lauderdale once again. After saying goodbye to my cousin, we went to our hotel and took a cab to Las Olas Boulevard with an excited couple. The wife told my mom that she would experience multitudes of happiness when my sisters and I get married and have children. Thanks for the words of wisdom, lady, but those events are a ways away. We ate some lunch and then walked to some boutiques. We then took a water taxi and looked at the spectacular waterside multi-million dollar homes. I would live in Ft. Lauderdale. It was perfectly sunny, casual, and beautiful. How can you not be happy living somewhere like that? We were all able to fall asleep that night even though Felicia and my mom were snoring up a storm. Who knew vacation could be so exhausting?

Our flight back home was scheduled for Monday morning. Brooke picked us up from the airport. She’s the nicest friend ever. ❤ I felt like she was our mama waiting for us. We sat in our living room for a few hours watching Steve Harvey, eating pizza, and sitting on the couch. I passed out as soon as Brooke left and spent the night attempting to watch the Bachelor. I’ll miss vacation, but it’s good to be home and in my own room. I met people that left impressions on me for various reasons. I’m finding that I should worry less about little things that annoy me like Elisa not wanting to put lotion on my back or Isabella’s dirty bathing suit on the floor. I reinforced that I especially like listening to people who speak with purpose or interest or who are genuinely nice or funny. Most importantly, I really love my family. They’re the best people I know no matter what.